Set Fire to The Rain
Set Fire to The Rain was posted on: Saturday, January 28, 2012 @12:46 PM |
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I heard it in his voice, he was breaking too. My fists clutching the blanket, covered my face. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to face him. I couldn't, after all I had done. It hurt him as much as I was. Only it wasn't hurt to me anymore but a
friend of mine.
It would haunt me, torment me into the depths of my soul until I was numbed by the torturing pain.
It had sealed my feelings, turned me into an emotionless doll. For too long
it had lingered, it was time for me to voice out. No more secrets.
I opened my mouth, no sound came out but instead I was gasping for air. I couldn't speak. Furiously, I typed in the newly opened notepad on my laptop. And then shoved it next to him. He tried to console me as I unraveled everything. My extremely upsetting behaviour, my inexplicable reasons, my strange decisions. Everything. Never had I been so honest to him in my entire life. And also for the first time, I confronted my fears.
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself," he touched my knee gently. "I will always support you and help you in whatever you do." Unable to say anything, I just nod. Tears streamed down my face, this time they weren't tears of loneliness and sorrow but tears of relief. The misery that had once clouded my vision is now cleared. The invincible chains that were bound to me has shattered as I set fire to the rain.
Labels: my heart speaks, secrets unfold
The Worst Holiday Ever
The Worst Holiday Ever was posted on: Tuesday, June 28, 2011 @9:53 PM |
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My 2 weeks of holiday after semester exam is over. College reopens today. Sad. I'm just gonna write a brief summary on how I actually spent my holidays. It wasn't nice.
Okay, I got a sore throat just when my holidays started. Unlucky much?
Then, it just got worse. Fever came, multiple ulcers in my mouth and my gums swelled up. I couldnt eat, drink or even brush my teeth. I had to use a straw to drink water. And all I could eat was porridge, even after putting some oral aid to numb my incredibly painful ulcers. After a few days of gulping down antibiotics and paracetamols, not much effect was taking place. As you can see, it wasnt just some normal sore throat. My dad said it was a herpetic viral fever. He thought I might have this hand-mouth-foot disease but i dun have any rashes on my hands and feet, so, phew.. I cannot imagine infected by that disease..
Took anti-viral drugs to suppress the fever. A week + later, my throat was recovering but my fever was still on and off. My dad started to worry that it might be something else that's causing the fever. I was down in KL to attend my cousin's wedding so my parents took me to SJMC to have a blood test. You have no idea how terrified I was while I was waiting for my blood test results. What if there was something else? What if I had some unknown disease? What if...
My results came out and my blood is normal. There was nothing wrong with me. Lack of water was the reason behind my on/off fever. Yea, I din drink much water since my throat hurt. Anyway, I'm fully recovered now. I swear I will not stress myself too much after that awful sore throat. Plenty of rest and water too.
buh-bye pillsSome
things happened too during my holidays. Emo-ness overwhelmed me. My unbearable sem exam results were enough to crush my perseverance. Plus another saddening news coming in my way — Asako is leaving for St. John's scholarship. This means I will be alone again. There were still more depressing stuff but i dun wanna talk about it here.
Until now, I still dunno what I wanna be and what course I'm gonna pursue. Having trouble writing my testimonial and personal statement. Sigh.
So, my holiday was pretty much ruined. I managed to bake a few batches of chocolate chip cookies before coming back down to KL. Gave some to Asako and I let my classmates tried them too. Some said they were nice. At least that put a smile on my face.
It's 11pm. I think I should head off to bed now. Night.
I just wish those emo days are long gone.Labels: happenings in my life, my heart speaks, sick
how is it? ... kinda satisfied (:
how is it? ... kinda satisfied (: was posted on: Sunday, March 27, 2011 @10:55 AM |
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On Tuesday night, I flew back to Kangar to collect my results. My cousin picked me up and drove me to the airport. And I thought I would be alone traveling back to my hometown. But nope. I made a new friend. (:
I went to queue up at the counter. The girl in front of me overheard my conversation with my cousin. And after he left, the girl turned around and asked me, "Are you going back to take your results?". "yea, you too?"
That's how I made a new friend at the airport. haha. Her name is Pow Wei. She's from Alor Setar. And she's studying A Levels at Sunway. I told her she can call me Suzie, lol. Then, she said I can call her Blair. We exchanged phone numbers and I added her on facebook. We sat next to each other in the airplane. Talked a lot about school and college. She's also going back on the next day and so, we will meet again. One hour passed by really fast. Oh and Firefly's service is good, better than Air Asia's. They give peanuts and drinks.
The airplane touched down and landed in Alor Setar. Blair and I bid our farewells and headed home. I have to wait for 45 mins to reach Kangar. It was 8.10 p.m. I already asked my friends to hang out at 9 pm. I reached home and the first thing me and my mom did was quarreling. -.-
Really!!!! geez. She cooked my dinner that night but I already ate at the airport. And I already sms-ed her that I eat at the airport. Sigh, whatever. Asked my mom to take me to KFC to meet up with my friends. Kok Jing and Jason were there 1st. Then William came and Ruby came last.
I was excited to meet them. It's been a while since I last talked to them in person.
Goofing around at KFC until 12am.
The next morning, woke up and went to get a haircut at 10.30. People were getting their results while I was getting my haircut. lol. The radio was playing Greyson Chance's Waiting Outside the Lines while i was on my way to school. What a coincidence, I needed a little motivation.
Okay, I already planned how i'm gonna take my results. First, I take the paper from teacher and go to a quiet place where no one is around. Then only, I look at my result slip. But um, i din get to do that. When I asked teacher for my results, she gave me see a list of people who scored 6A's and above and told me to meet another teacher. I was like, oh-kayyyyyy, I'm in the list, I scored 6 A's.....
man, i wanted to see my results alone, I wanna feel the emotion rushing through me at the moment I see my results. Oh well, so much for that.
Yee Ern, Ci Yin, Shu Yii scored straight A's. As expected. Kok Jing got 9 A's, Seak Tin too. Jason, William, Ruby also scored 6A's. Wow, so many ppl got 6. *gasp* 666! (if u're a nigahiga fan, u'd know what i'm talking about.) Joie was sad, I called her up to comfort her. Glad that she's enjoying her camp right now.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO SCORED WELL IN SPM!
Asako, my housemate, sms-ed me. She got straight A's. Oh yeaaahhhh... i came late to school and i missed the photography session! RAWR! The picture was on the newspapers! Noooooo! I could have been in there if i din get my haircut... T.T
Honestly, I did not study much. I'm thankful for my results, anyway. At least, I'm not such a disgrace to my family.. I could have done better, that's true. It's over, what can I do? Now, I gotta focus on my A Levels. I promised myself no more slacking!
Hanged out at Secret Recipe with my friends. Had lasagna and a mocha latte. I baked chocolate chip cookies for Asako as her birthday present. Hershey's chocolate chips are awesome! Taste so good. :P
By the time it was 6pm, I was rushing to the airport. My flight is at 8.30 and i need 45 mins to reach the airport. Met Blair again. I got the seat next to her. We chatted about our results. She had straight A's too. We decided to share a cab but I have to pay extra because i stop at a different place. So, we took cabs separately. She sms-ed me to confirm whether i'm home safely. That's so sweet of her. even though i just knew her.
Asako said she liked my cookies. :3 i'll definitely bake more next time.
Many of my classmates scored straight A's. Congrats to them too!~
That's what happened when I went back to kangar that day. (:
P.S. Dad messaged me saying, " Well done, girl. keep up the good work with your a levels." (:
P.P.S. My first time riding a bike with Ruby was fun! LOL
Labels: my heart speaks, results, satisfaction
First Day of College & New Year Resolution was posted on: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @10:28 PM |
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